Last week, we discussed the perils of binge-watching culture. This week, we’re getting into an equally deep and meaningful topic: what some of our favorite TV characters would be watching in the year 2022. As our flagship Slate and the show that started the career of Remarkist founder John Cabrera, Gilmore Girls holds a special place in our hearts, and we love to think Stars Hollow’s citizenry would be ready to join us on the couch for a watch party, as the real-life actors who portrayed them often do.

Here are just a few of our favorite Gilmore Girls characters and what we think they’d be watching:

Lorelai Gilmore

Hate watched Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis. 🥪 Would not stop talking about The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. 🎙️Thinks Ginny & Georgia is “a little too derivative.” 👀 Pays for Paul Anka’s DOGTV subscription. 🐶

Rory Gilmore

Keeps up with Stranger Things and Squid Game to churn out inane trend pieces for BuzzFeed. 💻 Favorite show is Derry Girls. 🙏 Does not pay for anything ever.

Emily Gilmore

Was initially put off by the “inaccuracies” of Bridgerton. 🫖 Cannot stop marveling over Regé-Jean Page and Jonathan Bailey. Pays for every streaming service but forgot the logins for everything except Netflix.

Michel Gerard

Watched Aliné, the unauthorized Céline Dion biopic 🚢, to point out the inaccuracies. Simultaneously thrilled and annoyed by the 2020s Celine hype train since he was “always a fan.” Pays for Paramount+ and Hulu.

Paris Gellar

Only watches true crime documentaries. Actively trying to solve The Staircase. 🦉 Has the money but illegally downloads because cord cutting is a “scam.”

Sookie St. James

Too busy to watch TV. Starred in an episode of Selena + Chef. 👩‍🍳 Selena Gomez cried.

Dean Forrester

Only watches Marvel movies. 🦸 And old BattleBots tapes. 🤖 Pays for Disney+.

Jess Mariano

Prefers podcasts to TV. 🎧

Logan Huntzberger

Went on a date with a 19-year-old Stranger Things cast member just to get Rory’s attention. 🍝 Pays for Rory to have every streaming service known to man and alien.

Luke Danes

Enjoyed A League of Their Own. ⚾ Did not understand that it was about lesbians, but became an ally nonetheless. Pays for Lorelai to have every streaming service known to man and alien but mostly just watches cable.

Lane Kim

Favorite new movie is David Byrne’s American Utopia. 🧥 Pays for HBO Max and Netflix.

Zack Van Gerbig

Mostly just plays video games 🎮 instead of watching TV. Refuses to acknowledge that he enjoyed the Bee Gees documentary. Mooches off Lane.

Brian Fuller

Loved television so much, considered inventing an app for watch parties. 🌽 Forgot the idea and went back to playing video games with Zach. Mooches off Zach, who mooches off Lane.

Kirk Gleason

Watched The French Dispatch at Lulu’s insistence. 📰 Invested his entire life savings in Quibi.

Lulu Kuschner

Watched Sonic the Hedgehog 2 at Kirk’s insistence. 🦔 Pays for Hulu because it rhymes with Lulu. Does not know Kirk is no longer a self-made quarter millionaire.

Babette Dell and “Miss Patty” LaCosta

Binge-watching Bridgerton 🫖 with Emily, who has asked them not to tell Lorelai. Broads only pay in song and dance.

Taylor Doose

Does not own a television. ❓❓❓

Gypsy

(Doesn’t have a last name, apparently) Recently jumped onto the Formula 1 hype train that has possessed America for some reason. 🏎️ Pays for ESPN+. Told Luke that A League of Their Own is about lesbians.

Christopher Hayden

Finally got around to Parasite, loves it. 🪨 Does not realize it’s about him.

The Ghost of Richard Gilmore

Surely enjoying Succession, wherever he is. 💰

And wherever you are, you can join our community of TV and movie lovers. Or argue about the validity of this listicle. Your choice!

Not a Remarkist member yet? Here’s how to get started: 

• Step 1: Join our beta as an early adopter and grab your unique @membername. Install our app using the instructions here, and be one of the earliest to collect our KRNL token while earning rates are high. KRNLs fuel Remarkist’s fandom economy of events and collectibles.

• Step 2: Join our Remarkist Clubhouse Club—Clubhouse is a separate mobile app on iPhone and Android that we use right now to meet and watch content together. You’ll need it to actually join us for our real-time events, and you’ll need to be a member of our club there to see those chat rooms.

• Step 3: Join our Discord Server—this is where hundreds of Remarkists are geeking out over the shows we love 24 hours a day, and it’s where you can get the latest developments on the project. 

• Step 4: Check out our website at remarkist.com for a splashy birds-eye view of the biggest stuff happening in our ecosystem.

• Step 5: Subscribe to future newsletters so you can stay up to date on all the exciting stuff coming to Remarkist in 2022!